Florida, Pride of the Nation, Part 54

Fear of a Black Men's Room

"I didn't offer to blow the guy because he's a dude and I'm gay. I did it because he's black and I'm scared of him."

Mark Foley, meet your new best friend. State Rep. Bob Allen, also John McCain's state campaign coordinator, noted anti-gay moralist, and sponsor of a bill requiring special ID cards for sex offenders, allegedly tried to pass $20 to an undercover cop in exchange for the honor of servicing said cop's genitalia. Yes, he was going to pay to catch.

But Bob Allen isn't gay. No siree. Much like Principal Skinner only entered the burlesque house for directions to get away from there, Bob only offered the compensated sex because he needed to escape the scary African Americans.

"This was a pretty stocky black guy, and there was nothing but other black guys around in the park," Allen, who is white,  told police in a taped statement  after his arrest. Allen said he feared he "was about to be a statistic" and would have said anything just to get away.

At least the police in Titusville have honor. Curt, concise, manly honor.

When Allen was being placed in a marked patrol car, he asked whether "it would help" if he was a state legislator, according to a police report. The officer replied, "No."

***

And lest you think that public restroom sex is the creepiest deviance in central Florida... it's the Orlando Balloon Gathering. Big ups to Matt for this disquieting interlude.

***

Finally, from Sethro on Capitol Hill comes this confluence of sex, drugs, and mercy:

Exotic Dancer Revives Client During Strip Show

According to a police report, while Nantz was dancing, she turned and faced away from Karpinski for approximately 20 seconds. When she turned around again to face him, Karpinski was slumped down on the couch and was having trouble breathing, police said.

Nantz called 911 and began to administer CPR on Karpinski because he was not conscious or breathing. Paramedics arrived at the home and were able to revive the 46-year-old to the point where he was able to breathe on his own.

And she wasn't even dressed as a naughty nurse.

Now, could we go somewhere more private? I'll pay you 20 bucks if I could perform CPR on you.

Comments

[Josh]

shouldnt the bouncers have beaten the dude up afterward for getting frisky with the dancer?

[jjm]

one just one link away, this chestnut.
http://www.wpbf.com/news/13798847/detail.html
"Environmental crimes, like illegal composting and manure storage can potentially harm our natural resources and impact our quality of life, and will not be tolerated," said DEP Division of Law Enforcement Director Henry Barnet.