Today on Twitter:
In these era of unfathomably gigantic financial FAIL, $20 billion smells like chump change. But realize that this tiny number represents about $70 of borrowing per American. And the smaller number ($154B) means that each American will owe another $500 to creditors.
Hope those jobs pan out!
You better be.
All of these wonderful photos come from granitepics on Flickr. We'll assume it's New Hampshire.
We'll start with a special mega-fail. First off, is that a sideways equals sign? What is he even trying to say? "Pissin cup first" before something?
Godwin's Law strikes again. You say you prefer zucchini to yellow squash? SO DID HITLER!
Ladies, your hand-drawn corrections to "HITLER DID TO!!!" are a little obvious, but you get one point for even noticing. And ladies, maybe you should take some time during to your next privately-covered doctor visit to talk about, uh, prevention.
This guy gets 10 points for comparing health care reform with Logan's Run, that amazing '70s sci-fi flick about a future world that's one disco orgy after another until you turn 30. Now report for Carousel.
This is Obama's recession, apparently. The poor woman with the megaphone doesn't remember where she left her keys, who won Best Picture in 2006, or why the Democrats got elected nine months ago.
Speaking of cheeseball '70s: gentleman with the mullet, I'd like to teach you a few facts about the religions of ancient Troy. Oh hell, just see the movie, and tell me what happens to the Muslims in it. Cuz I just don't remember.
Clever pun, clear ideas, lovely penmanship. You win today, lady, even though you ad hominem doesn't really make any more sense than, say, Obabenazirbhutto or Obarandyjackson.
Nom nom nom. I'd like to reform a torte. With my mouth!
"Shit, I still have a little white space left on my sign. How about a 27-word 'Gandi' quote? Ah yes.. Perfect."
Again with all the words. When exactly did Obama call you an extremist? I don't recall that press conference. And you put the Statue of Liberty on one side, with the hammer and sickle on the other? You like one but not the other, I presume? Plus, bullets! You get flunked back to "Intro to Powerpoint."
WIN!
How nice of him to include his initials so we knew which Kenyan named Obama he was referring to. The original version of this sign included a picture of a monkey eating a banana.
MEGA-WIN!
OK, I appreciate this lady's sign. It makes a cogent argument about the issue. It's simple, and it explains that she's given health care reform some pragmatic thought beyond the "ungh ungh" of the other Glenn Beck fetishists in attendance.
And her argument is this: Don't insure the uninsured because then we'd have to share our doctors with them. Ahhhhh. Now we get what this is all about.
And how about sexy poser on the right? Rowr!
The LaRouchies are here! And they're calling Obama a Nazi. Funny, I thought he was just another puppet of the British empire, or whatever those fucked-up cult-freaks believe.
But that poster.. I hope someday to see it in Baltimore's American Visionary Art Museum. Because whoever designed it has got some crazy outsider shit in their heads.
I don't even know what to do with this one. Is "facist" a simple misspelling of "fascist"? Or is a clever hybrid of "fascist" and "racist" (since Glenn Beck has blown the doors off Obama's antipathy towards people of European descent)?
Notice that her hat says "USAF CLINIC," which I'll assume isn't a government medical facility for US Air Force. Because that, in combination with the "UNAMERICAN" on the sign, would just be crazy.
Dr. Nick Riviera. WIN!
And now the big picture: The health care debate that's occurring right now in Washington was a central part of the Democrats' 2008 platform. The Democrats won that election. So there should be no surprises here. But 40-something percent of voters didn't vote for Obama. Of course they're pissed.
And now we're heading down a one-way path to Kenyan-style Marxist socialist communist Nazi fascism, just like Canada or the Netherlands. LET'S TAKE OUR COUNTRY BACK!
I have a suggestion for the Birthers, the Truthers, and the Deceptors: It's time to merge.
The Truthers have been banging their heads against the wall for almost eight years with little traction. The Birthers have been doing much better; probably millions of white rednecks have hung all their fear and disgust about our first Scary "The Other" President on his wildly improbable illegitimacy. The Deceptors’ beliefs are doomed never to find mainstream acceptance; they’re almost as complicated as reality.Birthers: a subculture of wacko right-wingers who believe that Barack Obama was born in Kenya and has never produced evidence of birth in America, and maintain this belief in spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
Truthers: a subculture of wacko left-wingers (primarily) who believe that 9/11 was an inside job propagated by the neo-cons and military investors to start WWIII for power and financial gain.Deceptors: a subculture of pan-ideological wackos who watched “The Obama Deception” on Google Video and now believe that Barack Obama is merely a puppet of stateless financial interests bent on forcing the world into indentured slavery.
But what if the Birther, the Truther, and the Deceptor movements merged? The Debruthers! Think about it. With their collective batshit power, they could take this evil regime down!
I've even gotten the narrative started:
Mombasa-born Muslim Barack Obama blew up the Twin Towers and WTC7 with explosives at the bidding of the Rothschild banking family, so that Bush would turn America into a security state and Alan Greenspan would ignite a credit bubble, putting America’s citizens and businesses in hock to the global financial oligarchs. Then Hawaii state officials, at the bidding of the bankers, created fake a birth certificate and doctored the birth announcements in the Honolulu newspaper archives. This set the stage for Obama to be elected president, place financial insiders in positions of political power, create citizen dependency on the state, increase national indebtedness, take our guns away, and institute mandatory national service. This clears the way for Obama to enforce an form of Islamic fascism in which ownership of all assets falls into the hands of the shadowy Jews who placed him in power.
Admit: that's some compelling shit right there. It all makes so much sense.
If I start a blog about this, do you think I could get on Hannity?
Wow, all the crazies are really coming out of the woodwork these days, with their rifles, and their rage, and their chopped-n-screwed worldviews.
Imagine how much worse it would be if America wasn't short on ammo. Maybe America needs to implement Chris Rock's "bullet control" idea. Yes, a $5,000 tax per round. ("Man, I would blow your fuckin' head off, if I could afford it... You better hope I can't get no bullets on layaway.")
Yesterday's maniac was Mr. James W. Von Brunn, a man almost too old to be on 60 Minutes, who brought the National Mall to a standstill by walking into the Holocaust Museum and firing a rifle indiscriminately, killing a security guard.
Thanks to the Information Superhighway, we now know that Mr. JWVB was a genius, a Mensa member, an artist, a WWII vet, and an accomplished author. His magnum opus was a 189-page "racialist guide to the preservation and nurture of the white gene pool" titled KILL THE BEST GENTILES, which is really a run-of-the-mill screed about the Jewish/Illuminati/banker conspiracy to destroy Western Civilization by browning it like Manwich meat.
I made it to page 12, where JWVB describes how Marxist Jews perverted the Constitution to extend the franchise to intellectually inferior darker people and women:
The Founders also wanted a government in which the
supreme power lies in the People. The Founders knew, however,
that in this very imperfect world intelligent and capable
people are always outnumbered by the unintelligent and incapable.
Ergo, the majority vote nullifies the intelligent vote. The
Founders also knew that the masses are easily controlled by
unscrupulous, ambitious men. Therefore, in their wisdom
the Founders created a Republic with strong checks and balances
— NOT a DEMOCRACY — knowing that Democracy
is intended to destroy the freedoms it presumes to
protect. Accordingly, the franchise was held so precious that it
was limited to White men deemed capable of exercising
responsible votes.
Well, okay. This part is pretty much true. Jefferson was a slaver, and California's experiments with real democracy have led it straight to the gates of Hell.
But how about those White Men voting responsibly?
Yeah, I thought so.
Meanwhile, the Right Wing kookosphere is trying to paint Von Brunn as a leftist. Good luck with that.
***
Meanwhile, the unstable-but-not-likely-to-massacre sub-wing of the Right Wing is still represented fully and impressively by the trio of attorneys at Powerline. Today, guest blogger Paul Rahe deconstructs this photo of Obama chatting with Benyamin Netanyahu as a "fuck you" to the Jews.
Some in the Israeli press have interpreted the release of the photograph as an expression of contempt, intended for Arab consumption, inspired by the hurling of a shoe at President Bush in Baghdad some months back.
Far-fetched thoough these fears might seem, I suspect that these Israelis are not being hypersensitive. Barack Obama has a history of belittling his adversaries in just such a fashion. In April 2008, he was caught on tape during a debate with Hillary Clinton, rubbing his hand across the right side of his face and extending his middle finger in an obscene gesture that many in the audience could see it but she could not, and when this provoked laughter on the part of his supporters he responded with a knowing smile.
Later, after accepting his party's nomination, he did precisely the same thing during a debate with John McCain; and, after Sarah Palin remarked at the Republican National Convention that the only difference between a pit bull and a soccer mom was lipstick, he observed at a rally that a pig with lipstick is still a pig. Again, many in the audience caught the dig and they, too, were rewarded with a knowing smile.
Obama is, in fact, a master of the insulting gesture.
Blogs like Powerline obsess about the press, the liberals, and the liberal press only seeing what they want to see about Obama. They're right, some of the time.
Meanwhile, blogs like Powerline don't appreciate the irony of seeing face scratches as calculated 5th-grade-style insults.
At least this kind of petty shit isn't enough to make a man load his gun. Right?
Obama's mostly been killin' it on the transition so far. He's built a national security team that even Cheney has to respect, and he's allayed the fears of those who thought he was going to impose a special 10% surtax on white people.
But then there's this guy:
Say hello to Ken Salazar, our next Secretary of the Interior. I honestly don't know a whole lot about Salazar. But I can tell you this: He goes to work every day in a cowboy costume.
Salazar is apparently a "rancher," which I guess means that he owns some cattle or ostriches or some other tasty species. So that also means he gets to dress up like his line employees every day. Imagine if every millionaire in the Senate got to do that!
He additionally likes to dress up in costume to emphasize his "Western roots." I'm inspired to start wearing a Speedo and a gold rope-chain to work. Gotta represent the F-L-A!
Now, do you trust land policy to a man who wears a ten-gallon hat? Does he look like the kind of guy who's concerned about methane and CO2 destroying civilization? Because, you know, that's kind of a real problem.
Whew! The Supreme Court has declined to review the inane accusations about Obama's citizenship.
And who was the Supreme Court justice circulating a petition for consideration?
Jesus, Clarence. Just cut the crap and join the Klan already.
***
And in other racial news, say "Yello!" to Blackbird, the browser for African Americans.
The browser displays a pre-set news ticker on top, pulls in news content from Google News that might be of interest to African-Americans, and features a section with video content from online TV sites like UptownLiveTV, NSNewsTV, DigitalSoulTV and ComedyBanksTV. Other than that, there’s a lot of integration with the most popular social networks, a ‘Black Search’, preset ‘Black Bookmarks’, etc.
Sounds kinda limiting and useless, like ordering a "Black DirecTV" or an "Black iPhone," but who am I to judge? Nobody, that's who!
Not sharing this sentiment is the TechCruch commenting community, some of whom are just outraged.
So, when is the white version coming?
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if i made a WET channel or a WHITEBIRD browser id be considered racist.
white man = less rights then all.
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I’m sorry, but it’s things like this that perpetuate racism. How can the black community demand equality then turn around and build a web browser just for themselves? This is ridiculous…
Whoa there! Next thing you know they'll be producing TV channels for Hispanics, or whole websites just for Christians. Why don't minorities just like the same stuff the rest of us do?
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