Rangelife

The tragedy of Southland (and NBC)

NBC is kinda pathetic these days. OK, they've managed to revitalize their Thursday comedy block for the first time since Seinfeld shut down. But other than that, they epitomise the rapid demise of broadcast TV.

NBC's programming strategies (dumb, big-budget dramas) and tactics (bouncing those dramas around the schedule until no one knows when they're on) has led to a colossal string of failures in recent years. Before throwing another $100 million down the crapper, NBC basically quit the drama business, bringing back the cratering Heroes, a bunch of Law & Orders, two middling E/R replacements, and plenty of unscripted crap. Worst, by replacing five hours of adult drama a week with Jay Leno, NBC (to use venture capital phraseology) cut into muscle. 

So whither Southland? The ensemble LAPD show showed some real promise after its mini-run last season. While lacking the sublime subtlety of the best cable cop dramas, it was still easily the most compelling adult-themed show NBC had run in years.

NBC then did what they do best: They fucked it up. First, according to the great Tim Goodman, they promised to dumb it down:

I was a fan of "Southland" when NBC premiered it late in the season. Broadcast networks have been left, in the wake of more aggressively realistic cable depictions of cops, to fall back on safe, more cookie-cutter formats involving the cop genre and to me the whole effort seems pointless. But when "Southland" came on, it was really trying to be - forgive me here, more edgy. But NBC has apparently seen all the ambitious elements in the series and decided to get rid of them. Here's Bromstad:

"Look, I have incredible passion for the show "Southland." We'll have to see come fall how it does. I think we've made some creative adjustments. I think they tried to do too much in those six episodes, and instead of re-piloting the pilot and letting the audience get more familiar with these characters, they sort of -- you know, it became very serialized, and they were a large, large ensemble. So it's really going to focus on Regina King and Ben McKenzie and those two...the two sets of officers and detectives and sort of focus on, you know, crimes and how they come together."

Translation: It confused people by being too ambitious. We're going to dumb it down and focus on half the cast and simplify the plot...

Poor "Southland." It didn't "re-pilot." Its cast was too big. Its ambitious storytelling too difficult for an audience who loves "The Biggest Loser." Oh, God, NBC. Why not just tell the world you're USA?

We never got to see the newer, dumber Southland. Today, NBC killed it two weeks before it even aired.

So what now? Rumors abound that NBC intends to shop Southland to cable, but it wasn't really gritty enough for FX or TNT, and not really smart enough for the premium channels. And if it's been dumbed down for the Biggest Loser audience, who's really going to want it anyway?

As Goodman reported over the summer, the TV creative community has basically given up on NBC. And how could they not, with NBC downsizing its schedule to Fox-like hours, and then trashing what's left? The only real mystery now is how they managed to build a Thursday comedy block that's arguably funnier and more clever than the one they rocked in the '90s.

And we're all just waiting to see how they sink that ship.

"Entourage" has NOT jumped the shark

Happy Days produced many cultural innovations, including the 20-year pop culture nostalgia cycle, the creative profanity-proxy (“Sit on it”), the amazing disappearing character (older brother chuck), and the spin-off.

But perhaps its greatest legacy is the cliché phrase “jumps the shark”: when a TV show has become so obviously tiresome that its producers introduce an ill-conceived plot twist. The twist ultimately renders the show completely unwatchable. (Although Fonzie’s original shark-jump was more a ridiculous stunt than a show-changing plot-twist, most shows are considered to have jumped the shark when precious new children are introduced, settings shift, or existing characters hook up.)

HBO’s Entourage has not jumped the shark. Sure, its ratings have dropped precipitously. Liking the show has become synonymous with wearing obnoxious $60 t-shirts, and calling your dad “bro.” The cast members have become as insufferable as the characters. Jeremy Piven is even one of the heads on Mt. Douchemore.

Entourage is now unwatchable. Somehow it seems like it used to be good, even kind of fun. But it hasn’t really changed at all.

So it also hasn’t jumped the shark. Rather, Entourage “had a three-way.” More specifically, Eric did, in season 3. That’s right, little E, a very short man with a dirty Queens brogue, no fame of his own, and no discernible romantic game, banged two hot chicks at the same time. How? Why? Because that’s what the people want.

“Had a three-way”: An event completely consistent with the theme and tone of a show that helps one realize that the show was always terrible, and makes one feel bad about having ever liked it in the first place.

Who the hell are Ginger and Mary Ann?

Japanese TV is awesome. That’s a problem when you’re there, because it can make it hard to get out of your hotel room and into the fascinating, frenzied world outside.

One of the ingenious programs I remember when I last visited (2005) was a game show called "Dead Age.” I speak slightly less Japanese than your average dead Pensacolan, so I had figure out the rules from context.

The gist: Two comic actors introduce each round of the game with a sketch that takes place in an office. Each sketch ends with the co-workers joking over a head shot of an older famous person. After the sketch, the game show contestants must guess the age of the youngest person surveyed who knew who that old celebrity was.

For some reason, this game show came to mind when I saw this poster hanging in the window of Taco Del Mar in San Francisco:

“Fajita + Burrito
It’s like getting
Ginger & Mary Ann”

"Gilligan’s Island" ran 1964-1967, but lived on in syndication well into the 1980s. Pretty much anyone who grew up the USA during that period could sing the theme song if you spotted them "Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale…," and they’d certainly get the sexy joke that Taco Del Mar has plastered on its in-store merchandising.

But you’d be hard pressed to find an episode of "Gilligan’s Island" to watch in the last 15 years, even in the wasteland of basic cable. Would someone under 21 know their Mary Ann from their Ginger? Is Taco Del Mar’s joke lost on a younger crowd? (Does Taco Del Mar care?)

Gen X may be the last generation to know the pop culture of previous generations. We enjoyed the last pre-digital childhood, when computers were luxury items and connecting to others by keyboard meant typing a letter on a Selecrtic. Video and audio were discovered and consumed on analog devices at the same time everyone else watched and heard them.

What this meant was that our televisions, especially independent UHF stations and off-prime-time slots, were loaded with old shows. As a kid of the '80s, I not only watched the Neilsen hits, but also ancient favorites like "The Little Rascals" (1930s short films), wartime Bugs Bunny cartoons (1940s), "I Love Lucy" (1951-1957), "Leave It to Beaver" ('57-'63), "The Flintstones" ('60-'66), "Bewitched" ('64-'72), "Laugh-In" ('68-'73), "The Streets of San Francisco" ('72-'77), and anything else a bored kid might like.

(I could add that time filters pop culture in strange ways. Neither "Gilligan’s Island" nor the immortal "Star Trek" were hits in 1966. Among the top 10 shows that season were CBS’s Tuesday night powerhouse block of "The Red Skelton Hour" and something called "Daktari.")

It’s all different now. Today’s college kids grew up digital, and they hardly bother to distinguish between a broadcast and cable TV network. Hundreds of channels mean hundreds of demographically microtargeted programs. Would a 10-year-old today want to see an episode of "Cheers," much less "Gilligan’s Island"?

In other words, the Dead Age for all cultural references may be drifting older and older. Most Gen Xers know many of the cultural icons of the '50s onward. How many Gen Yers knew anything about Farrah Fawcett before the day she died? Will the Millennials know anything from the Reagan years? (Kids, he didn't really win the Cold War.)

This isn't trivia. America has precious few shared cultural conventions. As our country has diversified and three television networks exploded into a billion websites, the “now” dominates, and the “then” is mere curiosity (or nostalgia, if you experienced it the first time). Additionally, the relevance of “now” is approaching Warhol’s 15-minute model. Besides perhaps "American Idol," there’s hardly a pop culture franchise with the broad cachet of yesterday’s hits. The other options just didn’t exist back then.

CBS canceled "Gilligan’s Island" 42 years ago. Only three of its seven principals are even still alive. So if we can try to imagine a “Ginger & Mary Ann” equivalent for 2051… we can’t.

This may not seem like it would mean much for anyone except Taco Del Mar’s copywriters. But as time passes, we'll find it harder to relate to our fellow citizens on a pop culture basis. And really, what other culture do we have anymore?

What happened to Chris Brown?

Has Chris Brown's children's television career been derailed? Somebody tell me what's happening!

***

Sesame Street pulls Chris Brown segments

This is just overselling

Yeah, about that image you grabbed from the Internet.

Besides, aren't all donuts made of wheat?

Source: slightlywarped.

Your TV is trying to get into your head

These two shows debut within five days of each other:

Lie to me? Trust me? My television demands so much. I need to call my analyst.

***

I watched the debut of Lie to Me last night (love me some Tim Roth) and immediately remembered why I stopped watching police procedurals sometime around season 3 of NYPD Blue.

• Let's play "Guess the killer!" It's always the guy they meet around minute 20 of the show.
• We get it, his home life is a mess. It must be because he's so quirky.
• When you catch the perp in a lie, he or she will quietly (but emotionally) confess.
• Why does everything in DC look like Los Angeles?

***

Maybe Trust Me will be better. But that title forever makes me think of this.

***

Elsewhere:

I buy your self-esteem and convert it into customer satisfaction.

There is no way our shirt cured aids.

Never too young for videogame character flashcards.

No, not fiber!

Five seasons of "The Wire" in five minutes

Rap version:

Blagojevich? Corrupt? Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeit

SHEEEEEEEIT Originally uploaded by dunkr.

Clay Davis for Senator!

Is That Cat Going to Eat That Spaghetti, or What?

The Soup is the most important show on TV, and perhaps the only one I never miss.

I'll just leave it with that.

Source: The Morning Show with Mike & Juliet

My Tivo Gets Me

Good evening, Tivo.

Anything cool on tonight?

Oh, Tivo. You knows what I likes