Rangelife

Who had the worst divorce lawyer in history?

This guy!

From a friend-of-a-friend in Northern Virginia.

***

Update: His name is William Taylor, and this was dreamed up by his wife.

"I thought she was kidding, but she was serious,” said Taylor of Centreville, Va. “I figured I got to do what I got to do to makes things right. So here I am."

Think, people!

I try not to blame the victims of crimes, even really lame frauds. Even stupid, greedy people deserve protection, and even smart, honest people get stupid and greedy some times.

But then I received this warning from San Francisco Police Captain Lazar of the Ingleside District. If you fall for this, you probably shouldn't have had any money to be stolen in the first place. In fact, you should probably just move back in with your parents immediately.

Today, I would like to talk to you about a scam called a Jamaican Switch or a Pigeon Drop. The criminals play on the victim's vision of making a large amount of money in just an hour of time. There are usually two suspects. They can be men or women. One plays the role of an incidental Good Samaritan. Here is how it plays out:

The victim is walking to the supermarket, department store, or through a business district or coming from a bank. One suspect approaches the victim with the bait. The bait could be lure of a large amount of cash, a winning lottery ticket or even gold bullion. The suspect tells the victim, "I am new to the area, and I have fifty thousand dollars in my bag. I don't trust the banks or anyone, but you look honest. I'll pay you if you help me. What should I do?"

Red flag number one: "I don't trust banks, but I do trust you, beautiful stranger, because you look honest."

The suspect opens the bag and shows the victim a large amount of cash. While the victim tries to offer advice, the second suspect walks up to the victim and the first suspect and says, "I happened to overhear your conversation. I think I have a solution to your problem." The second suspect explains that he and the victim can put up good faith money to show that they are honest and wealthy enough not to cheat him. Once the good faith money is shown, the victim can deposit the fifty thousand dollars in his bank. They all agree.

The victim goes to his bank, withdraws five thousand dollars and proudly shows his good faith cash. A quick slight-of-hand is done between the suspects, and the victim is handed the bag of cash. The suspects excuse themselves and the victim makes a bee-line to his bank.

Usually at this time, the victim begins to feel uneasy and thinks this was too good to be true. The victim looks into the bag and finds cut up newspaper. He turns around, and the suspects are gone with his five thousand dollars. The victim is literally "left holding the bag."

Bank tellers are trained about this scam. If the teller has a customer who withdraws a large amount of cash, especially when the customer rarely deals in cash, the teller will ask what the money is for or if he has been talking to strangers. Some victims actually respond by saying they're going to Lake Tahoe for the weekend.

Some suspects are so smooth, the victim will drive them to the banks and even to their own home.

The best defense to this scam is to be informed and immediately call the police when you have been propositioned. These suspects hit an area two or three times then disappear.

Like I said: Call your mom and pack up your stuff. You need to go home for a while.

His pet AT-illa

AT-ATs: Not Just for Xmas Anymore

Balance Bar Gold Crunch with Other Balance Bar Gold Crunch with Mike Huckabee

Mmmm, this Balance Bar Gold Crunch is so packed with exquisite peanutty flavor, it deserves every one of the three fonts in its brand. (You see, it's the "Crunch" sub- product line of the "Gold" sub- product line of the "Balance Bar" product line.)

But what could make this product so tasty? So naturally tasty?

Of course! Natural flavor with other natural flavor!

***

Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee was on Meet the Press this morning, declaring his intent to run for President. In his segment, he did not back away from his assessment of President Bush's job performance as "magnificent"; he implied that an anti-abortion position separates America from the terrorists; and he blamed a Willie Horton-style sentence commutation on Bill Clinton.

In other words, horseshit with other horseshit.

Argentina Sea Monster: F*** YEAH!

Cual es mas awesome?

(1) Researchers in Argentina discovering remains of an ancient sea monster (Dakosaurus Andiniensis) they're calling "Godzilla."

(2) National Geographic running this interpretation on their cover:

Suddenly I believe in Intelligent Design, and the Great Designer is obviously a 10-year-old boy with a #2 pencil and Trapper Keeper full of wide-rule notebook paper.

Also, Blagg really needs to name Dakosaurus Andiniensis "Official Ancient Beast of the New Sincerity."

Black Like Me

How does AOL know me so well?