rangelife

3 Years, 700 Posts, 1,450 Comments, No Dignity

Happy 3rd Birthday Lucy!!!!!!!!!!!
Originally uploaded by ern the ferle.

Holy crap, I missed my birthday! Last Thursday, Rangelife turned 3. Thanks for all the gifts and well-wishes, you ungrateful asses.

As with real birthdays, you care less about your blog-day every year. But Rangelife has inherited the birthday traditions of its creator, so this weekend this blog will shut itself in the house with a giant bag of crystal meth, a case of off-brand lemon-lime soda, and a stack of porno LaserDiscs from the early '80s.

Also, as per tradition, some stats:

• Posts: 700 (exactly, including this one)
• Comments: 1,450
• Pageviews: 516,298 (469/day average)
• First 1,000+ PV/day post: 6/28/05, Jan Wahl's Failed Audience Uprising (Jan tries to get War of the Worlds preview audience riled up about turning in their purses)
• First 50,000+ PV/day post: 3/10/06, Victoria, Not Victorious (ingenious Cal prank on USC)
• Most commented post: Home Depot to Customers: Drop Dead
• Most popular search term: Nazi Porn (Google again darkens our view of humanity)
• Odds that Rangelife makes it through another year: Above average. Better than Britney Spears or Dick Cheney.

I'm Two!

Today, Rangelife enters its terrible twos. Daddy is stupid! Put on the Wiggles! More Cookie Crisp! More more more more more more!

And in two years, what have we accomplished?

• Total posts: 592 (including this one)
• Comments (non-spam): 1,115
• Number of comments about how Home Depot is a tool of Satan: 26
• Trackbacks (non-spam): 90
• Total page views: 398,692
• Google rank for "Nazi Porn": 1
• Google rank for "Brittanie Mountz": 1
• Offspring produced: 1 (that I know of)
• Terrorist plots thwarted: 0

OK, now who wants cake? Is gooooood.

Picture source: Flickr. The lil' gentleman on the left reminds me of my sweet, sweet DungeonMastering days.

Gone Fishin'

I'm heading back to the Motherland for Baby Tour 2007, so bloggin' will be light. If you want to know what the extended family is in for, feast your eyes on this little morsel.

That's our little pan-racial Paris Lexus Hayley Angelina. Don't you just want to plotz?

To keep yerself entertained in our absence, watch this nrrrdcore hipster age eight years in 103 seconds:

That's right, I embed from Yahoo! Video. That's how I roll, beyotches.