The Crazy World of Gail Neira, 2006 General Election Edition

I've bitched about this a dozen times before, but voting on San Francisco initiatives -- in addition to leading to shady outcomes -- is a real pain in an ass. The 2006 general election is no exception, with 47 or so local propositions, including a bevy of new bonds, taxes and entitlements, and a WTF vote on impeaching Bush and Cheney.

But there's always a bright spot to this local madness, and it's dear, sweet, insane Gail Neira, the one-woman movement against progressive ballot measures. While some might use sugary persuasion to woo you to their side, Gail likes to chase voters with a claw hammer. Not bad for a woman who signs her arguments "Native San Franciscan; the only community-diverse, openly truthful activist elected to San Francisco Republican Central Committee; San Francisco Republican Alliance president."

Back in June, I recognized Gail for her invocation of Nazi Germany in opposition to an initiative that would impact the paperwork for home sellers. And as usual, Gail is up to challenge of injecting rhetorical insanity into the political insanity that is the initiative process.

And now, Gail's Greatest Hits from the November 2006 San Francisco Voters' Guide. Note that these are, unbelievably, the official arguments in the Voter Guide.

***

1. What did Gail say? "Unfortunately, political greed, self-serving agendas and incompetence from Democrats, also Republicans, plus other political leaderships, have facilitated increased betrayals of our nation. Patriotism, outside our military, has almost trickled down to superficial ceremonies, a factor not ignored worldwide."

What is this actually opposing? Prop D: "Shall the City and the City's contractors be prohibited from disclosing private information about individuals except under limited circumstances?"

***

2. What did Gail say?  "These government bureaucratic jokers will, if we are dumb enough to keep them in government posts years from now, graduate down to taxing the homeless with grocery carts once they have chased away their more reliable sources of exploitation."

What is this actually opposing? Prop E: "Shall the City's parking tax be increased from 25 percent to 35 percent and apply to valet services?"

***

3. What did Gail say? "Pandering to thousands of chronic losers and freeloaders, major burdens from the moment they relocated to San Francisco, have deprived worthier recipients of more meaningful and effective hand-out and hand-up resources. The cacophony of public complaints about government deficits and overspending in the name of public leadership is a red flag. No more new tax nor bond measures should be considered until all bureaucrats and politicos, causing the deficits or unskilled in relieving past deficits, are purged."

What is this actually opposing? Prop K: "Shall it be City policy to acknowledge the particular housing needs of seniors and disabled adults with limited financial resources and to explore ways of addressing these needs?"

***

Bonus: What did Gail say? "No free-for-all liberals should empower any U.S. citizen or foreigner to undermine our nation with ideological fanaticisms perpetuating antiquated cultural practices."

What is this actually opposing? Baja Fresh: "Would you like a side of black beans with that?" But seriously, Prop D again.

***

I want to invite Gail over for a party some time.

"Gail, glad you could make it here on such a foggy night. May I take your coat?"

"The American system of moral checks and balances has been corrupted by lazy ne'er-do-wells with no beliefs beyond Chairman Mao's fascist tenets."

"Oookaaaaay... Beer's out on the porch."

"Woof! woof!"

Comments

[Eric Strand]

Thanks for the enlightenment. I hear that the North Korean government is always looking for good propaganda copywriters. Gail is a shoo-in.

[Rox]

Ahhh, Rev., you know you wish that you could vote in NJ tomorrow, where the Menendez-Kean race is actually about "issues" and "corruption." (Cue maniacal laughter...)

[MattyMatt]

You should also invite candidate Joel Britton to the party. Among his priorities if elected to the local Board of Education: "abolish capitalism in the United States and join in the worldwide struggle for socialism."

[Chris Yeh]

Awesome. In SF, even the boring Republicans are looney wack jobs.

[Gail Neira]

Rangelife panders to child rapists, serial killers, and Trotsky-Leninists of the worst sort. Do not let America's weblog community become corrupted by such Nazi-bating swill! Vote NO on Rangelife!

[Matthew Benjamin]

Looks like SF has its own version of Katherine Harris!!

[Matthew Benjamin]

Looks like SF has its own version of Katherine Harris!!