A little closer...
Here's the article. The real headline: "Lawyer: Alleged abortion kidnap plan a 'family tragedy'."
This story is too drowning in stereotypes to be completely true. Two racist real estate developers from Maine -- named Kampf!!! -- allegedly abducted and bound their own 19-year-old daughter for an interstate abortion run because they didn't like that her baby-daddy was black. And the baby-daddy "last week began serving a 6-month sentence for theft at the Androscoggin County Jail in Auburn, Maine. He also has previous felony convictions for burglary and receiving stolen property."
Why does this sound familiar?
Oh, and that burning smell? That's your hope for the progress of humankind.