On Saturday night, after a long, delightful day at the ballpark and a friend's birthday, I plopped down on the couch to catch up on the latest developments of World War III. Here's what the cable "news" networks had to offer during the 10pm hour:
CNN Headline News: They pretty much gave up on reporting when they hired the Angel of Death to work in prime time. Last Saturday night, as the wide Middle East war escalated ominously, CNNHN featured Glenn Beck. He was ranting about how rated R movies have too much sex in them.
MSNBC: Hour-long investigative report about DNA evidence in murder cases.
Fox "News": Ah! Finally some analysis! Israel, it turns out, is showing great restraint because they haven't launched a nuke at Gaza yet. Case closed!
CNBC: Which companies are making money in China, and how can you profit?
But CNN, the Most Trusted Name in News, they must be all over this right? Nobody watches CNN until crisis time, but when the doodoo hits the fan, everyone tunes in.
Of course, I'm not a professional journalist, editor, wonk, or network programmer, but there must have been some excellent reason why CNN was showing a rerun of Larry King's interview with Dan Rather.
DOESN'T ANYBODY CARE ABOUT WORLD WAR III?
Today, the most critical event in the world is President Bush saying "shit."
(Other note: traffic is way up for searches for Ronald Reagan's open microphone disaster, which wasn't technically an open mic gaffe at all.)