The Madness begins in mere minutes, but before the ref tosses the first ball in the air, we must revisit the Cal-USC "rivalry" one more time.
1. What kind of hermetically-sealed hyperbaric chamber of happiness do USC cheerleaders live in? First, one of them famously celebrated losing the Rose Bowl. Next, here is another's reaction to the once-punk'd Gabe Pruitt injuring his knee during the PAC-10 tournament.
Is any sound more joyful than ligaments stretching?
2. Apparently, not everyone thought the Victoria prank on Pruitt was funny. Here's a prematurely fuddy-duddy USC student journalist:
The most classless fans on the West Coast one-upped themselves this past weekend...
Can't argue with a single word in that sentence. He should see Cal fans -- especially the non-student, non-alumni ones -- when they go to football games at Stanford. He'll suddenly remember what "East Bay" is Pig Latin for.
If you were on the Weekender in fall 2003 when, from out of nowhere, a California team knocked off the No. 3-ranked USC Trojans in football, you know exactly what school I'm talking about.
When the clock expired on the upset, Cal fans raced onto the field with one goal in mind: To head directly toward the USC student section and its band, toss objects into the stands and taunt them with jeers too vulgar to reproduce in print.
Good heavens! Mine virgin USC ears hath been soiled with Berkeley obscenities! Fetch me mine smelling salts!
Then, in Berkeley's true definition of sportsmanship, fraternities and even sororities hounded every Trojan fan that had to walk past its Greek Row to get to their parking spot - for which they paid upwards of $50, mind you - with similar obscenities.
If anyone got a USC fan to drop 50 bones to park in Berkeley, well, that's the greatest prank yet.
3. It may be too late to fill out your bracket (I've got a boring UConn-Nova-UCLA-Duke final four), but it's not too late to enjoy Deadspin's NCAA preview, which features three ridiculously trivial and often hilarious items about each team in the Big Dance. Yes, I spat out the one for Cal, but you'll get better laughs from some of the others.
4. Cal's first game of the tournament is tomorrow at 4:20 PT, which gives them the "home time advantage."