As a "celebrity," Jan knows people, and she expects a certain quality of personal handling. And so it was last night, at the press and promotional screening of War of the Worlds at the AMC Kabuki, that Jan tried -- and failed -- to lead an audience revolt.
Granted, we were all a little annoyed that the theater -- at the behest of Dreamworks, no doubt -- made us check our briefcases and purses at the theater door. (Sorry, Sanchez, I'll get your bootleg next time.) And we were especially annoyed that they requested we sign a release holding no one but ourselves responsible if some nefarious popcorn slinger ran off with our wallets and cell phones while we were enjoying this awesome, awesome flick. But this is the era of BitTorrent after all, and we'll learn how to manage this new level of security, like we've learned to manage the United terminal at SFO. (Besides, you didn't have to sign the damn form. I didn't.)
But Jan -- whose website graciously informs you that she's "your favorite movie critic" -- wasn't having it. Moments before the lights went down, she stood up from her reserved seat and started hollerin' for everyone's attention. She then set her Shrill-O-Tron to "stun," and off she went, screaming and yelling about the atrocious burden that Dreamworks had foisted upon
her us. They can't treat us this way! We're all in this together! Viva la revolucion!
Whatever. After 30 seconds of attempting to work up the audience about the security, she paused for reaction. A handful of people applauded, most murmured in amusement, and a few even heckled. It was like the unpopular asthmatic kid in fifth grade telling a joke in front of class -- even if it were funny, no one would want to laugh. People just didn't care that much.
Jan, who thought Mystery, Alaska was robbed in the 2000 Oscars noms and recently declared Miss Congeniality 2 "fabulous", was all grumbly after the screening, too. War of the Worlds left the audience breathless; all we heard were raves, except from Jan, who was still worked up about checking her precious bag and, I assume, from the complacency of her fellow movie-goers.
So much for the Revolution of the Gimmicky Hat.
Update: The review of War of the Worlds is up. Loved it.
Update: Jan Wahl responds. She claims she didn't call Miss Congeniality 2 "fabulous," which means that KRON mis-paraphrased her on their site. It currently says "Sandra Bullock returns in Miss Congeniality 2, which is not as good as the first one, but still fabulous, Jan says." Apparently, the KRON site is now being updated to reflect what she actually said on air, which was "not as good as the first one, but it's light and fun and a few laughs are thrown in." The Republic sleeps soundly tonight.